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AdminFor those of you who are regular readers, you’ll notice this is a new page. It’s basically somewhere for us Beer Tuesday kids to offer advice to those bone heads who are willing to read it (all y’all). So check back often to enrich your lives and you might learn something.
Over the course of the Beer Tuesday site we have been receiving several hits a month from Google, some of these are a bit weird, in this post I will look at these search phrases, what they could hit on the site, and the mentality of someone searching for these things in the first place.
April Ieremia – or some variation from this such as April Ieremia Naked, April Ieremia Nude, Ieremia Steamer – Try it it works. It all relates to this post by Green Griffin. Essentially while on boat trip we heard a story about a fetish of April Ieremia, she went home with some dude, he fucked her and passed out, only to wake shortly after and find April Ieremia squatting over him about to shit on his chest, when he asked what she was doing, she nonchalantly said ‘This is my fetish’. Now this sounds like a crazy story, and probably not something a reasonable person would believe, despite the fact that it is hilarious. Then Pink Box was talking to someone else, not at all related to Beer Tuesday, or the person to first tell the story, and they started telling Box how they had heard the story too.
April Ieremia has had some recent celebrity resurgences on Treasure Island, and Dancing with the stars, and that would explain why she has reached some semblance of relevance again, which brings out the perverts to search for naked photos of April Ieremia, and this story must go beyond the people who we have heard it from as someone has searched for ‘April Ieremia likes to shit on dudes chests’. As doubtful as it is that she is actually into this, I guess someone has to have a fetish like this, and celebrity status shouldn’t reduce this.
Relating to this story we have actually had another person searching for shitting on a dudes chest, I really hope we didn’t let that guy down when he found out we don’t actually have any photos of that….yet?
www.ifeelmyself.com or I feel myself video or other variations of I feel myself - This is a site that several people have tried to search for, and ended up finding Beer Tuesday. I have no idea how this relates to us, but again I am sure the people who followed the link would have been disappointed.
Desert - Clearly a lot of people look for information about Desert, and it is amazing how many of them come through to Beer Tuesday.
Atlas, Maps of Africa ect – Again I am not sure what it relates to, but so many people end up finding us looking for anything relating these words.
Amputee Porn Movie - The first thing that jumps to mind is, why? Then I thought maybe if you were an amputee, then you wanted to wank yourself to amputee porn, or maybe you you have no arms, and get someone else you wank you to amputee porn (the New Zealand Health system covers handjobs right?). Again not sure how this is relevant to Beer Tuesday, but there may have been some disappointed lubed up amputees when they ended up at our site. Then again it could have been another strange fetish (Candyman? don’t tell me you have been chasing kids without legs because they run slower?)
Moriori - This clearly relates to Scarlet avengers post here. I can picture some interesting quotes on high school kids history assignments.
Candy Seaman - Well this would clearly relate to the Beer Tuesday Boat Trip, but it still seems like an interesting thing to search for. Maybe someone was trying to create an interesting taste for their significant other.
Strange currencies colon dong – ordinary this may seem like a weird thing to search for. But to teach you something, this actually relates to a conversation about the currency of Vietnam, called the Dong.
Brokeback Bonanza – I think the people who were looking for this, may not have been searching for the photos from Pink Boxes and Silver Sovereigns party. Maybe these people wanted to see some Gay Cowboys fucking.
Gallery pedophile – We make several funny, and very inappropriate jokes about Pedophiles, but to actually look for it on the net indicates that there are actually some sick fucks out there. Good thing Beer Tuesday does not actually have any pictures of naked kids on their website… these are all under Candyman’s bed.
Taking Marijuana on a plane – Beer Tuesday doesn’t contain the tips that this person was looking for to sneak Marijuana onto a plane, we are just stupid and like to say dumb things in Ariports, such as some of these gems.
San Francisco night stripclub, Barstow Stripclub, whiskey a gogo la strip club -I went to all of these places, and didn’t see any naked women.
Bobbies Strip – Worst stripclub ever. The only advice I would give to the person who was looking for that fat whore factory.
Parnell Murder – It wasn’t me, can’t speak for the other Beer Tuesday Auckland Chapter members.
Anus Bleached – Again not sure what this relates to on the Beer Tuesday site.
Gaping Anus - I am pretty sure there are not photos of this on Beer Tuesday.
Lubed up Sumo Wrestling – I think that pretty much explains itself, how else would you do it? Not sure how many pages on Google you would have to go through to find our site.
Guide to picking up street hookers – Probably relates to this post. Probably not the instructional guide they were looking for, unless they were wanting to pick them up on the end of a blade. How fucked up do you have to be to Google looking for a way to pick up street hookers? It is not like they have websites, most probably don’t have homes, I would suggest that this guy starts with the homeless hooker variety and works his way up.
Home enema kits - I suggest a doctor.
Hooker body disposal - No way to tell if this person was actually looking for a way to dispose of hookers, I guess that is the only reason that you would search for it. I just hope he lives near a Desert.
Death bodies disposing blender - When I suggested it would be a good idea to blend a hooker, you knew this right? I wonder if it was the same person from above.
Sdc blow job in Dallas - Um, we didn’t go to Dallas on Beer Tuesday USA, but thanks for the support.
Gay rugby players cocks pics – This is what happens when you let Carlos Spencer loose on Google.
Get wanked today - Maybe this is a service Beer Tuesday should look at use.
Ok for women to be bi - If you need to ask, then yes it is.
Tijuana zonkey definition – It is a half Zebra, half Donkey, and it fucks Mexican whores in Tijuana…duh!
Explanation of desert to kids – What the fuck? they are kids, just make something up, they will believe you. Also, who the fuck needs to Google this?
How to deal with a girlfriend that was molested - I am not sure I have the guts to touch this one… na too easy… ohhh no I am not going to use that set up either. Maybe this could be a question for the next advice column.
So there you can see lots of people search for weird things and end up at Beer Tuesday.
Sweet dr Chocolate,
A statement such as the one in the title, must get one thinking of the finiteness of life, and can only lead to the depression caused by thinking of ones mortality.
So 101 is a stretch, yet still people insist of making lists of things that you must do before you die. They fill these lists with things like see the Pyramids, walk the Great wall, climb the Grand Canyon, and other crap like that. Sure those things are kind of cool, but this is Beer Tuesdays list of things to do, or would be cool to say you have done, before you die (or die trying some of these things). We are not going to bother with 101, we are going to prioritise and aim for 7. Why 7? I don’t know, why 101? 7 is just as arbitrarily pointless as 101, why did they not stop at 100, was there really one more thing that was that important to do before death?
1. Have your stomach pumped
Not only a good life lesson, but you will also be able to warn your kids about dangers of alcohol with out sounding hypocritical. This would also make a change from the boring stories which are discussed at the typical work party, to be able to talk about the time you drank 14 liters of spirits, passed out in a gutter, and woke up 3 days later in hospital after having the contents of your stomach pumped out.
2a. Be with a Hooker
In a whole life surely you eventually have to give up on the monotony of free sex, and put it out there and try it with a professional (however if like Scarlet Avenger you get a chance for free you can take that opportunity). I have always been curious about the added benefits offered by a professional fucker, and over the course of a long life, it would be great to be able to tell the story of the Thai hooker you banged in a Phuket bathroom.
2b. Kill the hooker and bury her in the desert
Kind of goes without saying really. Not sure how many deserts there are close to Phuket, so may need to be careful with the location of the hooker, or you may get some suspicious looks when you suitcase is dripping blood as you go through customs. And since hookers are not real people you probably cannot get in trouble for this.
3. Injure your self while doing something stupid (possibly while drunk)
This is a part of growing up for most people. It is like a right of passage doing something, hurting yourself, and then thinking ‘wow that was stupid, I should have seen that coming’. Not only is it a good story explaining the scar, but laughing at the stupidity of your actions afterwards.
4. Confess to a major crime
Lying in a confession to police, and wasting there time is illegal, one would think. However if you wake up in the morning very hungover, and genuinely do not remember anything, and you turn on the TV and find out there was a murder around the corner from your house. It would be a great story to go to the police and confess to the crime. All you need to do is say that you don’t remember anything, but had some scarily real dreams about killing a person. This way you are not really lying, and upon investigation you will be proved not guilty, but will have accomplished a great story to tell people, and knocked something off the list.
5. Masturbate in a public place
One of the major regrets I have from BTUSA, was not jerking off on the plane, like Pink Box was able to accomplish. Or Knocking one out on the train like Box and Silver Sovereign both accomplished. There are other public places it would be great to have a wank, on a recent drunken weekend trip to Hamilton, I was discussing having a wank at work with some workmates, thinking it would be a funny line of conversation, much to my interest all of them had claimed to have accomplished this feat. Definitely a great story if you are able to throw one out in a public place prior to death….actually if you succeeded in having a death bed beat off, that would be the grandest of all of the public acts of self pleasure.
6a. Gamble Big…. and loose
The thrill and exhilaration of placing a sizable bet is great. The excitement of the close finish of the game, or race, or picking up that 15 against a 10 and knowing that you have to take that hit. Followed by the giddy low of losing, and picking yourself up and realising that it was the thrill of the chase that gave you the excitement. Losing clearly a is not a good thing, but every gambler remembers the big loss, and knows that in order to have the big win, you have to have an occasional loss.
6b. Gamble and win big
Another great feeling that the normal person can not easily replicate is the feeling of been in the zone, a time where everything is going well and you are unstoppable. A way a normal person can get close to this feeling is through the feeling of been part of a hot table, and increasing bet sizes, and winning big.
7. Slam a Celebrity (or claim you have)This trick to this is not to aim too high. You don’t want to go claiming that you banged Eva Longoria or someone equally hot, you either want to pick someone average, or some random whore. While no one is going to believe that you nailed Scarlet Johansson, it may be plausible that you got one in Paris Hilton one night in Vegas. The other option is to aim low, if you set your sights on trying to sleep with Keira Knightley most people have no chance, but if you just want to throw one in a celebrity and have a true story to tell people you may as well aim low and actually try and hammer Susan Sarandon or something. (and yes that whole paragraph was written for the links).
There you are, 7 things to attempt before death that will potentially enrich your life, either that or just give you some sweet stories to tell your friends.
S.D. Chocolate,
Disclaimer
Beer Tuesday does not claim responsibility for any losses incurred, damages to self or property, or jail time received as a result of attempting things on this list. The legality of several of the items featured on the list is somewhat questionable, and users would be advised to exercise judgement before experiencing any of the items featured on the list.
It always seems as strange to me that people get offended by a word, such as fuck or cunt. As far as I am concerned, it is simply a sound, and a person can either choose to be offended or not. However over time words such as ‘fuck’ lose meaning and become less offensive. So in order to truly offend or express emotion, other words must be used to accomplish this.
Even now while you are reading this, you are becoming increasingly desensitised to the word cunt, so I think English speaking people need to band together, and create a new word, with a meaning more offensively powerful, than cunt before we lose the ability to simply offend people.
Fuck was once considered one of the more offensive words, however now in general society fuck is blending into the verbal background, and becoming an everyday term much like other words such as shit, bugger, and bloody have also become. So this is a list of the 10 reasons that cunt is now the new fuck.
1. Simplicity
Monosyllabic, four letter words are perfect for swearing. The simplistic nature of cunt, means that the word is easy to pronounce, and everyone understands the meaning. This only increases the offensive power of the word cunt.
2. Offensivity
Unlike fuck, most people are still offended by the word cunt (although this is changing, as I pointed out above). However something cannot be considered an obscenity, if it is not obscene. Generally speaking many people consider cunt to be obscene, and are still offended.
3. Flexibility
One of the great and often unappreciated advantages of the fuck word is the ability for it to form virtually any part of speech, and usually only with the addition of a different suffix. Cunt also has this ability, and some of the uses are still underapprciated . Here are some examples:
Noun: You can call someone a Fuck or a Fucker. Cunt is also blessed with the power to act as a noun as you can call someone a cunt just as you may refer to them by their own name.
Adjective: Much like you can describe someone as a fucker, you are able to ddescribe someone as cunty, or as been a cunt.
Verb: Much like someone can fuck, someone can be a cunt, it is the act of cunting.
The ability to make cunt easily plural, all that is needed is adding an ’s’, as in ‘hey cunts’
Also cunt is a great way to punctuate your speech, simply just using the word within any sentence makes it automatically more effective. For instance if someone were to say ‘It is a beautiful day outside’, or someone was to say ‘It is a beautiful day outside, cunt’ what would command more of your attention.
4. It isn’t that bad
The thing with cunt, is that it really isn’t that bad. In fact some may see been a cunt as somewhat complementary, (cunts are a good thing, they bring joy to millions) and it takes another adjective such as smelly, or diseased to make it truly offensive.
So that is a great thing about ‘cunt’ much like fuck, it can be a term of endearment, you may say ‘hi fuckers’ to greet your friends, much like you can say ‘hi cunts’. This is not offensive, it is simply a friendly way to greet your friends.
5. Emphasis
As fuck blends more into the background, and is more accepted, cunt will take its place as a way to place emphasis in daily conversations. By using the word cunt (or some variation), people will take notice and know you mean business.
6. Versatility
Much like flexibility above, someone can use cunt with any of the following words, and it will make perfect sense. Here is a list of ways in which you can enrich your cunt experience; try using cunt with the following words:
Tall, Fucking, Hairy, Fat, Wet, Good, Mad, Windowsill, Stupid, Bald, Wise, Old, Short, Fast, Weird, Big, Sweet, Painful, Moist, Broken, Fucked, Destroyed, Retarded, Bad, Awesome, Shaved, Hot, Happy, Skinny, Ugly, Tasty, Sore, Infected, Cut up, Wide, Gaping, Slammed, Droopy, Drunk, Cartoon, Talented, Cold, Young, Slow, Nimble, Atrocious, Nasty, Official, Law abiding, Wrist watch, Hard, Lucky, Militarised, Thoughtful, Poor, Rich, Thick, Dumb, Attractive, Manly, Whorish, Burnt, Brick, Famous, Dead, Damp, Smart, Strange, Paralysed, Fucked up, Smelly, Flexible, Versatile, Umbrella, Porn, Dodgy, Wanking, Used, Bent, Geeky, Quick, Vicious and Beer Tuesday.
There are also many more, but that list will get you started, also this.
7. It sounds cool
I must admit, a nonchalant ‘cunt’ sounds cool. Incorporating it into your daily conversations still makes you sound reasonably rebellious. If you happen to have an accent ie. Cockney then it sounds even better.
8. It offends women
Not sure why, maybe because you are referring to an area of their body, they get offended by the notion that it can be used as an insult. Still I feel the need to reiterate, that cunts are a good thing.
9. They feature in pornography
Much like fucking, cunts are also the focal point of pornography, yet another reason that cunt is the new fuck.
10. It rolls right off the tongue
Or could potentially. However, much like point 1, the fact that you can say cunt, quickly and easily, much like fuck, is the key to its success. Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunts, cunted, cunny, cunt, cunting, cunt, cunt. It never gets old… well it may, if we don’t come up with a new word which is more offensive.
Ok, this is Doc signing out, thanks for reading all of you good cunts,
This list is literally a Beer Tuesday list.
I have decided that it was time for another list, however there was always the challenge of coming up with a topic.
I regularly search Google for Beer Tuesday to see where we are ranked. I actually searched Beer Tuesday for the first time long before we had a website, just to see what was out there, in terms of other Beer Tuesday type organisations.
Now that we are number 1 in Google, I have decided to do a review of the remainder of the ‘Beer Tuesday’ sites, counting down from this site to the 10th ‘Beer Tuesday’ site.
Here is the list (I assume these change around as more people go to them)
1. Beer Tuesday
If you are reading this, then you are most probably familiar with our site. As you well know it is great, and would be top of this list regardless of if it is only sorted by number of hits.
Keep in mind that our site really doesn’t get that much activity, and if one day with a lot of hits can lift it from 2 – 1 in the rankings, it probably means that the remainder of these sites get fuck all hits also.
2. http://www.beertuesday.org/
This has been king of the ‘Beer Tuesday’ Google kingdom (amazing analogy there). This is another Beer Tuesday organisation, and from the website there are affiliates in Chicago and the Bay area, and some initials which make no sense to me.
The site is not as well put together, pretty, or functional as our site. However it has a great, and very cheesy tagline, which actually applies would apply to Beer Tuesday NZ.
‘Wherever there is Beer and there is Tuesday, there is Beer Tuesday.’
I really think that there is potential there that they may oneday reach the giddy heights of Beer Tuesday New Zealand.
The problem is that they seem a bit too artsy, and not really into the true Beer Tuesday lifestyle. They claim to be ‘not drunkards’ but ‘thespians’, so in order for them to become part of the real BT they would have to come to meetings topless, and if we got to watch them doing the eat out to each other, that would be cool. The fact that they are not drunkards, means that they really need to work on their ability to be Beer Tuesday.
Also there site hasn’t been updated for a couple of years, so they need to work on that too. In fact I didn’t even bother reading any of their material, if they believed it was good, they would keep updating and it would be worth it.
3. http://www.cheesecake.org/btcu/
Hint: The last part of this URL stands for Beer Tuesday Champaign Urbana area.
This is another simple site, however they do note down the highest tabs without the tip. Then again their largest was only $210 USD, so roughly $300 NZD. Firstly on Beer Tuesday USA 2007 we comfortably reached this between three members. I would say on an average night out with Beer Tuesday, we would probably spend an average of $60+ per member, so easily covering the tab from the site. In fact $60 is probably a low estimate, and that would probably only be the average round.
They don’t seem too bad, the site is nothing flash, but simple and seem to get the basis idea of Beer Tuesday.
4. http://beeradvocate.com/forum/read/903857
This is a recent post on a site called Beer Advocate. So the fact that it is still updating, combined with the fact that they advocate Beer, gives them a good start.
It basically continues, and talks about imported Beer. It was not bad, and then discusses a new imported Beer.
5. http://janglyganglia.com/comments/two_beer_tuesday_continues/
Got to respect this, a two Beer Tuesday. The site is of course not dedicated solely to Beer Tuesday. This was also only posted a couple of months ago, so that means it is current.
This type of person seems like the kind that could fit into BT (judging only from this post). However the site design really doesn’t work with the colors used. The only limiting ability is that the post was from Andrea, which implies that the author is/was a female, so would be unable to attend Beer Tuesday without been topless.
In fact I will leave a comment on their post.
The rest of the site is actually about a girls depression. This does not fit necessiarly with the Beer Tuesday lifestyle.
However the idea of posting something funny on a daily basis, is actually a good idea, and is surely following the same philosophy as this site. However her comments are neither interesting nor humorous… but it is a good idea none the less.
The fact that the last post was on the 17th of December is actually a tad depressing, and can only lead to the sad conclusion, that the depression has caught up with her, and she has ended herself, or more likely that she has recovered from her depression (isn’t it weird that I went for the depressing option first).
6. http://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/Beer+Tuesday+Champaign+Urbana
This I like, it is a link to an online dictionary, which defines the acronym BTCU, or Beer Tuesday Champaign Urbana (the people from number 3). The reason I like it is because of the initials used to describe something, which is something BTNZ (Beer Tuesday New Zealand) does on a regular basis. Also they are clearly trying to get the BT name and therefore way of life ‘out there’, despite the fact that their philosophy’s may be different from our own, it is still admirable.
7. http://limey.textamerica.com/details/?r=5383535&date=9/1/2006
Not really sure what this has to do with Beer Tuesday, however it is a photo of Beer which is respectable. The photo is called Beer Tuesday, I can see the Beer part, Tuesday I struggle with.
8. http://www.ks.uiuc.edu/~tskirvin/pics/bestof/2004/tn/tim-btcu.jpg.html
That is a photo of some random looking dude. Im not sure if he would fit in with Beer Tuesday, but it looks like he is about to go Midnight Creeping, and cut up some hookers (they would have to be Hookers because it looks like he would struggle to interact with real humans), so the Midnight Creeping side of him would probably fit in well with Beer Tuesday.
The only other problem with this picture is the caption. There are three problems.
-The photo says it is not a bad shot (refering to the photo) despite the fact that the guys eyes look further apart than your average Hammerhead Shark.
- It says it it Amy’s last BTCU, that is a females name, and there are no photos of her topless, despite
- It says that these are the best photos from the year of Beer Tuesday. I am not sure, but looking at the photos up there, they really need to invest in some actual fun.
The last two posts were not really about Beer Tuesday, so I gave up the hunt at 8.
So we have finished our journey through the world of Beer Tuesday. This has been a really boring and uninteresting post, so I apologise to everyone who had to read it. However it does point out that there is only one real Beer Tuesday, and a lot of pretenders out there.
Doc,
As the title suggests this is going to be a post about a list. I can’t help but notice that an easy source of material for a blogger, or any other writer, is a list. These could be on the topic of anything, and if a controversial opinion is voiced they may even get attention. That is the point of a list, to put forward a view, and one that others may not agree with, but really who the hell cares if some idiot thinks that U2 is a better band than the Rolling Stones (of course that is a stupid argument due to the clear sucking of U2, and the fact the Bono is a posing wanker).
The other reason that list are so frequent is they can be made about anything, from sports, to music, to geeky things like 10 reasons Firefox is better than IE (of course there are clearly more than 10 reasons), to more offbeat things such as which celebrity appears to have used the most coke.
Anyway all of this got me thinking that it is an easy way to add material to the site just by creating a list. All I needed was a topic, I didn’t want to do something boring like greatest band, or something that no one was going to read, like top NBA point guards, I thought I had come up with a great idea by doing the most memorable song lyrics (or song lyrics which seem to get stuck in my head more than others), I still think that is a good topic, and will probably be attempted at some point. All of a sudden I was sitting watching ESPN, and something came on featuring a male figure skater, I thought ‘man, that is a gay sport’ and then it hit me, why not do a list of the top ten gay sports.
I was a bit worried that this may not be appropriate (as if most of the stuff on this site is appropriate), but then I realised that this list would not be attacking gay people, it would be attacking sports which appear to be gay, latently homosexual sports (the list is also not intended to pass judgment on gay people, but merely point out that some sports appear to be more gay). To this end some sports are actually automatically eliminated such as ball room dancing, simply because although the male participants may be predominately gay, the fact that the sport occurs with a woman eliminates it from the list. However we cant really take this approach to all mixed sports, I mean there is no way to leave off figure skating off the list, but it will not appear as high as you may believe.
Ok without further ado, lets see how this goes. If you have any comments on the list, or wish to suggest another topic for a list then feel free to contact us.
Ten
As much as it pains me to include Basketball on the list, as it is my favorite sport, there is no way a sport with that much ball handling cannot make the list. Also any male who has willingly watched a WNBA game is clearly gay, and not helping the case of Basketball.
Nine
Again another sport that I actually like, and this one makes the list not so much for the sport itself, but for the people who play it. Thinking back to many of the Rugby players I know, they are always the most willing to put on a dress, or get naked and wrestle with another man. Any time you talk to a Rugby player about a court session or team trip they will invariably mention team nudity. Now this may be considered bonding, but still seems a bit gay to me.
Eight
It was always going to make the list, so it may as well make the list here. Between the costumes the twirls, the music, and the fact that they are not playing Ice Hockey. It has to be on the list.
Seven
Sumo Wrestlers basically wear what can only be described as a cross between a nappy (diaper) and a G-String, then attempt to force each other to the ground or out of the ring (admittedly that would make for a better joke if it was the other way around). So there is excessive touching and rubbing, making this a gay sport. However considering the average Sumo Wrestler is pushing around 200kgs, and resembles a dyke, this is probably more of a lesbian sport. Only the Sumo wrestlers at least have the decency to shave their legs to avoid this comparison (sorry, that was an old joke).
Six
In general the premise of motorbiking is manly. Mechanics, speed, danger, and this would be be a straight sport. However have you seen what these guys wear, more tight colorful leather than the average gay pride paride, and then the pouring champaign on each other. I think this qualifies.
Five
You have to have respect for the fact that these guys get to constantly hang out with chicks. However given the fact that the majority of female gymnasts are younger than 15, this is where the appeal ends (if you listen closely while reading this, you can almost hear Candyman running off to join the nearest gym). The other aspect of it that is respectful is that I’m sure most male gymnasts could bench press me, or more.
These factors should not be taken into account. They are negated by the fact that this sport is based on judging (I will go into more detail on this below). Also the tights which are worn only further add to the gayness of the sport.
Four
Soccer
I would have wanted to put Soccer lower on the list. The sport itself is not particularly gay. It is generally a decent sport to watch. However this all changes when a goal is scored. Shirts come out, hugs, and kisses are exchanged, and they basically stop for a fuck on the field, I’m sure we are not far from the day that a goal would be scored only to see the player whip it out, and get blown by a team mate.
Three
Synchronsied Swimming
What the hell is Synchronised Swimming. Surely this is not a real sport. Swimming is a real sport, a race from A to B. However Swimming in its own rights was close to making the list, the participants are fully shaved, and with those new costumes (full body suits), the swimming caps covering all the hair, and the goggles, it is hard to even tell apart the male and female competitors (particularly if you are looking at the Chinese of East German women, this just inflames this debate)(Oh, right, there is no longer an East Germany, the Berlin Wall has be down for 17 years… don’t worry it is my problem, I am dealing with it)(and in case you are wondering I did have to look up the date that the Berlin Wall was demolished)(wow three sets of brackets in order, and I by no means think that is excessive). The thing that saved Swimming from making the list was the fact that they have an event called Breststroke.
Basically this is a sport (much like Gymnastics, and figure skating) which is decided by judges, not by winning a race, that is itself is a bit gay. Not rewarding the fastest or the strongest, but the one showing the most artistic ability, that is Gay, so really this is in here for all of the sports which just judging to determine the outcome.
Combine this with the fact the participants are fully shaved, and you have the makings of a gay sport.
Two
UFC
Ok here is the Wiki.
I’m sure on this site my feelings on UFC have been made abundantly clear. However in terms of a gay sport you can help but think that the ‘fighters’ are really only doing it to avoid coming out of the closet to face the fact that they are themselves gay. Surely these guys are in so much denial over the fact that they are gay, that they pick a sport that involves beating the living shit out of another human (and the sport appears straight). After considering the evidence the sport actually appears gayer than they may think, and this is why, subconsciously they have entered the sport to begin with.
Also the sport involves two half naked (oiled) men, holding each other and forcing them to the ground, and trying to get them to ’submit’. I would hate to think what would happen if one got knocked out, they are already lubed up, I’m sure they would aim to penetrate. After the ‘fight’ is over and the fighters leave the ring, I would not be too surprised if they entered a different ring in the locker room after the fight. This makes it it number two gay sport on the list.
Drum roll please…
One
Come on, don’t tell me you didn’t see this one coming. Surely this joke was too easy to leave out. I really don’t think this requires further explanation.
