A New Years to something something something

January 11th, 2009 by Green Griffin

Share on Facebook

Another year another… well, another something, that is at least mostly certain. Then again that is always the fun part of ringing in a new year isn’t it? Not really knowing what, if anything happened. The feeling is only beaten by the knowledge that often accompanies it, the knowledge that pretty well anything could have happened. The possibilities, as it is, are practically endless. Keeping this in mind, and before I reached a level of intoxication that left me little more than a large infant I made a decision, I would take notes.
Now, I have done this before, and it generally has come out with a fun filled account of swearing at strangers and excreting, um, stuff from various places on your body. Pissing and vomiting that is, I do not so much condone the other one in public… then there is the dawning that there are actually many other things I could have been talking about. Wow, that was long winded wasn’t it? Let’s move on shall we.
So, here is the basic premise, its new years, I am going to bring a note pad along with me for the night and take notes of what’s going on. Sounds simple right? For most people, yes, but as I have stated I planned on losing any semblance of motor function, and I have marginally legible hand writing to begin with. As you can now imagine, this recount is not going to be easily transcribed.

To set the scene let’s just say right now I am sitting in a bach only recently cleaned of bottles, dirt, and glasses, pants are being worn by most, which as you shall see is kind of surprising….

And now if that wasn’t a big enough waste of your time, let’s see if I can muster something else together.
I figure I will take down the notes here pretty much as I wrote them, but will expand on stuff where necessary… I will also unexpand(?) on stuff that is truly horrible. I can’t have people thinking less of me now can I?

12.27 – The first beer of the day gets interrupted by a phone call from my lovely mother, after a rousing conversation I have gained only one piece of new information, and as it turns out it was some of the best news I could have gotten – mum and dad were not returning to the beach, this meant the section was ours and ours alone – maybe I should have filed this under obvious foreshadowing, but because I was starting to drink and it was very sunny I filed it in ‘driving directions in Alaska’, that is to say – information I would never remember, or pay attention to. Oops.

12.34 – It is only guys who can stay awake apparently. The girls are fast asleep scattered around the lounge, and Dunc is not far from being the same. Was the previous night really that big? Scattered memory flashes seem to indicate that it was. Hmmm… (really some good stories could be told about that one too, such as Dunc arriving home, after being lost, without his jandals, or boxers)

12.40 – The Modest Mouse song ‘the good times are killing me’ comes on. This song has always resonated with me for some reason. I do not see this as a positive thing. Before I can slip into a period of questioning my life choices Will joins me with a beer; that was a close call.
12.44 – My first beer of the day finished. That seemed to take longer than usual. I decide this is not actually a bad thing, there is a big night ahead of us and starting to fast could end, um, unpleasantly. That and the fact the fridge is quite far away.

12.52 – A bug lands on my thumb, rather than brush it away I look closely at it and realise there is a smaller version of the same bug attached to its ass. I am confused by this. The bug flies off and I decide I just helped it give birth – seems I am a midwife amongst other things

1.23 – two beers down now, that only took… an hour… wow. Other people are now awake, that’s nice. As are paddling pools – I hadn’t mentioned that yet had I? Most of this story takes place in a paddling pool in the sun in the middle of my lawn.

1.35 – I have apparently decided to turn the note pad sideways for the remained of this day, good story huh? This way I must look more professional or something – hastily I throw together a cover story for why I am taking notes, it will come in handy later, surely.
Kieran finally arrives, that was only an hour and a half after he said he would. Late much? (yes, I hate myself for that too, thanks)

2.07 – Piss trip with K-fresh (we are not really sure where that came from, but is apparently what I call him now… I’m not so original). That is not to say actual pissing. Drink more I should, and if I can, listen to some Pink Floyd – I get these urges from time to time.
We arrive home and Rachael is supremely eager to say she had a sandwich, I pay it the attention it needs, which is to say, it made it in here didn’t it?

2.26 – Mmmmmm salsa. Mmmmmm mojito. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm – that is a direct quote from the book. None of it was actually said out loud, but it does cover what I was eating and drinking at the time. I seem to have liked it.

2.35 – Tina & Rach leave to visit Tina’s cousin (actually not her cousin, but that is not my concern) leaving just guys sitting around in a paddling pool drinking. Guess that means we have an orgy now right? Wait, what?!

2.51 – After a lengthy discussion we decide that Manukau is probably the fattest city in New Zealand. We then take turns trying to point out we were not intentionally being racist when coming to that decision.

2.53 – While moving to get a beer I am pretty sure Will just tried to fuck Kieran. Maybe I should have pointed out the orgy thing was a joke. Maybe.

3 – The topic of conversation has moved on from fat cities, after briefly talking about Ben Elton books we are now talking about reality TV shows. I do remember parts of this conversation being very amusing, but apparently not enough for me to actually write down details. Curious. Remember when the guy on Survivor Outback fell face first into a fire? Yeah, good times.

3.03 – At some point we came to the conclusion that tomorrow Tina is becoming born again, this information will apparently be vital for jokes later on.

3.08 – Fist can be a verb you know. “It’s a doing word” – Will

3.15 – The discussion has moved on to strip clubs, apparently I have some good stories on this topic, like the cunt bourbon story, or the time I was naked and fell on my head then got tips. … Moving on…

3.21 – Inaction. That is the entire note I took at this time, but just look at it and think, what was I talking about exactly?

Give up?

I swung a bucket around while trying to move water from one location to another. Completely unintentionally it went upside down but nothing poured out. I considered this me failing to pour water out, but also said “Physics in action”. I then decided that it is weird that ‘in action’ is doing stuff, while ‘inaction’ is the opposite. See, that’s something right? Will and I then used the two terms repeatedly in some kind of sick word game. It was funny, shut up.
(I also noticed that I had an entry at 1.23 and 3.21 – small things eh?)

3.23 – Kieran gets some gummy snakes (see the joke already?) from his bag. I ask for one and then open my mouth. K proceeds to hit me in the face with it in a manner not unsimilar to, stuff… Mmmm sexy snakes.

3.24 – As with most drinking conversations with a group of guys in their early 20s we head down the road of having children. It is decided that Red Thursday needs to have children so we can continue to the legacy of greatness. It seems Tina will need to start pumping out kids.

4 – The girls come back, by this stage I am drunk enough to know I am quite drunk, but obviously not so drunk that I don’t. Follow?
We start a cricket game, this cant end badly.

4.10 – As a bit of background I should point out that this morning I woke up with a lot of pain in my shoulder. I don’t know what I did last night, but it was apparently something that hurt me, a lot. I tried to forget this during the day by doing the obvious thing – taking lots of pain killers. I decided I
would not stop this when I started drinking. Hey, at least I wasn’t using the hypodermic needles from two days ago – Yes, I am quite the tease like that.
Anyway, after batting and getting out I wormed my way into the bowling order. Is this one obvious too? My first delivery and I am done for the day, my shoulder had in no subtle way told me to give up on moving and just keep drinking. I take the advice, and a few more pills (though did try bowling again pretty soon after, same result).

4.16 – More pants off. I had alluded to that hadn’t I? Pants off parties are the best.

4.18 – Will announces that we have permission to kill him. This doesn’t make sense, but I make sure I note it down – this will hold up in court right? There could have been provisions tied to it, but no one is really sure, we heard what we needed and stopped listening.

4.21 – Rach – “There were teenage girls at Tinas cousins place. Marsh, you should have come”
Someone else suggests I could have justifiably replied “Cunt faces” seems a little vulgar for me though.

4.23 – I have now put an ice pack on my shoulder. Seems it was about here where I went in for my second one ball bowling spell.

4.26 – Rach makes a comment that I have noted down as “Big box Marsh”, showing the classiness I alluded to before I come back with “Yeah, it’s like throwing a hot dog down a hall way”. Continuing the theme something happens in regard to Tina and swallowing, though a few seconds later she was pretty clearly spitting. It all left me a little confused and a lot aroused. (I have since been informed it was Rach spitting at this time, still not quite sure what was going on)

At this same time I also drew a picture of our current situation. This basically had a circle for the pool with two circles in it showing Rach and Tina and four X’s around the outside showing the guys. It is labelled ‘Hot’, too right.

4.34 – 3-man has begun. Seems the night should quite quickly turn into something else about now. Craftily we have a body board in the pool and are using it as a table. Nothing will stand in the way of us getting drunk.

4.38 – Visitors arrive, the people the girls had previously visited. More players for the game. They don’t quite know what they are in for.
(This actually turned out awesomely as two of the three people who arrived were a couple who sat next to each other. Not fully knowing the game it seemed the guy thought the girl was picking on him by rolling lots of 7s (making him drink), so he kept nominating her for drinks, making a drunken cycle of fun times)

4.55 – I have finished all my beers and am onto my bottle of SoCo. Another one for the ever growing ‘obvious foreshadowing’ folder.

4.59 – Apparently I love 3-man, my note pad simply has “I love this game” written in large letters. Being the clever person I am I also drew the NBA logo.

5 – I love this note pad.

5.06 – Tina, virgin, comedy gold.

5.20 – I have decided Tinas family (not sure about that) are awesome. I have also decided that Rach’s new nick name of Ray should be made to stick, I see no problem with this…

5.30 – SoCo – I seem to be labouring this point a little. It is a great drink though. I am also quite pleased with the music, though I would say that wouldn’t I. Faith no more comes on, have not listened to them in some time.

5.40 – Apparently it is now that it dawns on me that the pool is a potential drowning hazard. I should probably add more stress on the potential part of that.

6.12 – Improbably I am inside making a salad, now that one you didn’t see coming right? Duncan notes that the celery is quite floppy, loose if you will. He helpfully points out it is not quite as loose as Tina though. Why is it that when you make those jokes and the person it is in relation to is not around you feel like a terrible person? Well, maybe you do, the jury is out.

6.12 (again?) – Anna, answer your damn phone. I think I was trying to agree with a happy new year text by ringing her back. In hindsight it was probably a blessing she didn’t answer the phone. Though I did still manage to make many phone calls over the night, even to Australia.

6.20 – Food pool. Curiously by the end of the night it did kind of look that way. Yes, we are clean people.

6.21 – Happy birthday Anna. This takes up a whole page for some reason. It doesn’t even almost make any sense as far as I can tell. None at all.

6.40 – My note pad has posed a simple question – Pants? The one and only correct answer is, of course, no.

6.40.46 – Apparently I am that accurate with my time keeping. I don’t think I can argue with that being as the note is “GRRRRRRRRRRR”

6.40.59 – “MMMMMMMMM” – There is actually potential that this is a scribble and not letters at all. There is also potential I am functionally retarded, but at this point it is all semantics (and yes, that doesn’t make sense, I don’t care)

6.50 – Stuff
6.51 – What?
6.52 – Wet hook up.
(this is one of my favourite pages so far)

7 – Cricket.
Something.
Top phone
Who ringing?
(it would seem my mental degeneration is kicking into overdrive at this point. Then again making sense was never my real motivating factor was it?)

7.15 – Though the page is not really legible, I know what it was intended to say and that is “Pants? Amateur. Armchair.” I know it should say this as I do remember it and for some reason found that really funny. I also know I tried to text it to someone, but because I could not figure out how to spell amateur at the time I went for novice instead, totally killing the joke. Well, the fact I actually wrote ‘notice’ didn’t help it any either (Pants? Notice. Pants off? Armchair – you figure it out)

7.19 – Another baffling one, it says “C Rack @”. I am not sure exactly, but my impression of this message is that I just saw Tinas boobs.

7.33 – Drunking. Phone. Pool. This was the first of several mentions of the pool where I inexplicably crossed the l, making the word read poot. Have I pointed out handwriting is not my best mate yet?

7.33.03 – CUNTS! Just a simple page filling word. OK, there was a little picture too. Hmmm…
The next page has another picture of the pool, though this time all the little shapes are inside the big circle.

7.50 – No pants. Wet. Pool(t) great. Seriously, this was one of the nicest weather days I have been in for a long time and I got to spend it drinking in a paddling pool, sometimes things are just right in the world.

8.16 – Don’t write thoughts
8.16.08 – Cold. Pants? Nah
It is times like this I kind of wish I could expand or explain things beyond saying “I was really drunk” but I can’t.

or can I?
8.16.032 (what??) – Evidently ’slut’ translates directly to ‘lesbian’, who knew?
Now that is a story, with a lot of good photos. Let’s just say there were girls and hooking up. Mmmhmmm

8.16.57 – Everyone in. Right. We managed to cram 6 or more people in the paddling pool at various times. The wetness was great.

8.17 – If it wasn’t clear that near nakedness was the order of the day K-Fresh and I debate the merits of getting out junk out. Better judgement did prevail.

8.38 – Apparently there were some kind of dramas in relation to a phone, or phone call or text. I am really not sure, it doesn’t ring any bells and doesn’t seem all that likely to begin with. I think it is safe to say that there was a phone, and that is about it.

8.39 – Put on pants? Give up Alcohol? Not bloody likely.
I wonder if someone had questioned me about that or something?

9.10 – Cold pool? Hmmmm
9.10 – more – that was a good story?
(I don’t actually know if that is what it said. I am pretty sure in fact it said nothing even remotely like that, but I am making the executive decision to say that’s what it is now.)

9.20 – Tina “Don’t force it in Marsh”
I am making another executive decision and not even almost explaining that situation either.

9.46 – Moving is overrated, fuck that. This statement is so unsurprising I do not know why I bothered to note it down in the first place. On the other hand I am pretty well in the running to win any and every stating the obvious contest that ever happens.

9.47 – Ring, ring, ring. The other half of the page has something written on it, but I am not sure what. I mean, clearly it is ink similar to the first half, but, the patterns the ink makes means almost nothing to me. The best attempt I can muster is – Go drunk call got to A!

10.09 – Church.
Kez rules, like, lots. Funny shit. Much so.
Why are they dancing on me? I know we are drunk but who needs [word missing]
At this point we had come back inside and the music had taken a decidedly worse turn (IMO), I was sitting down drinking and had everyone else dancing around/on me. It was an unusual turn of events, but it does make sense of why the writing is so horrible. Well, it was almost a good excuse right?

10.10 – The page just says ‘Rhyme Book’ Kieran has named my note pad and I like it. I like it so much in fact that I promptly forget all about it and only now can recall the event ever happening.

10.28 – I have written down “suitcase tumbler” with a little picture of a U with a line across it. I meant it to look like a drinking glass. This started one of the stranger parts of the night for me. Everyone had left to find fun elsewhere, which though was possible still seemed weird to me as there was a liquor ban in place, so without a destination we were just stopping drinking. Not content to do that I tried to drink faster, hence I decided to have some suitcases. The problem I found was that we didn’t have shot glasses (which is amazing considering how many I, ah, own). Ever the ingenious one I just poured my ’shots’ in small drinking glasses. Yes, this is going to end well. So, I drink half the lime juice and then went to drink the ’shot’ of SoCo, unfortunately the glass was so full I had no means of fitting all the alcohol in my mouth, not even close really, I had filled it up quite a bit. So basically I had three goes at drinking the SoCo and then finally drank the rest of the lime, which there was also ample of. It was not such a pleasant situation really.

I then got my shit together and was about to leave to catch up with the others (technically I was planning on going to the other side of town on a visiting mission, but they didn’t know that). As I round the corner of the house Tina comes running up, quite worn out by the look of things. I managed to hear her say something about alcohol before she was inside. I followed, quite intrigued by it all and got inside to see her filling a 1.5 litre bottle with vodka and coke. I thought it excessive, but assumed she was going to take it somewhere to drink (despite the liquor ban, neither of us really thought this as bad an idea as it really was).
Anyway, she makes her drink, takes a sip, then puts it in the fridge while saying “it’s a trap for someone who wants coke tomorrow” we then both left again.
So, that was weird then wasn’t it? The correct answer is of course yes, but, at the time it seemed to be a logical and calm thing to do. Isn’t alcohol great.

10.40 – The next page reads ‘Will shave. Fucktard. The work ones & mind’ I don’t know what that means exactly but I sure as hell can explain the situation it came up in.
Tina and I walked down the road from my place and then found Duncan on the side of the road. He informs us that the rest of our friends in the house we are in front of. He also mentions Will is getting his head shaved. Rather than sorting through the situation I just decided that I didn’t know who Will was and was going to say so to anyone who asked, and more so anyone who didn’t ask too.
Events at the house were a little confusing, I do remember a Jager bomb and a shot of something I am pretty sure was absinthe – it burnt. I also remember Will coming up to me and asking to talk, then going outside and having him explain that he got his head shaved (duh), and he did it because they said they were raising money for cancer. Call me heartless if you will, but who the fuck was ever going to believe that story? We are raising money for cancer by shaving random drunk people’s heads on New Year’s eve in Whangamata in a small house on a not particularly important road. What?? I pretty quickly decide I don’t want to be with Will right about now, so I walk back inside. The situation still does confuse me quite a bit, but I had more important things to do, like getting across town and back in under an hour.

10.41 – This is kinda back in time now you have read all of that (which you have?) but it just says jager. Yeah, good times.

10.42 – Jager bombs – bomb. A jager-bomb-bomb? what? Yeah, apparently we were getting alcohol here, who knew. The next day I would also find out we could have got drugs there too. What nice (?) people.
(I also find out that was the whole reason we went to the house in the first place)

10.48 – Whip it, whip it good.

10.49 – No Will, no! – this one doesn’t really need an explanation does it.

10.50 – this note still means nothing to me, it just reads ‘X 2′ I assume this was meant to be ‘times two’ why I would write that down however…

10.51 – Will no happy. Hair. Scam – again, I’ll just leave that one.

10.53 – We are dancing in a random house for no apparently reason. Least they are playing the doors.

10.57 – We finally leave the random house. That was one of the most confusing 20 minute periods of the night, that is saying quite a bit. Little did I know there was more.

10.58 – As I was leaving a person in the house noticed I was writing and asked me why. Thinking very quickly I told her I am a sociology major and I am doing research into the drinking habits and social behaviours of 20-26 year olds. I backed this up with using lecturers names from the University, and also saying “Hey, we funded that guy to do the study on bogan social habits, I am doing something very similar but with a different social group”. Though she did point out she was not in the age range, so I did not need to talk to her, she did buy the story and thought it was quite a novel idea. Apparently lots of people drink at this time of year. She also wrote a page in my note pad “Nana Jayne love, peace & sunshine – Tinny house” weirdly I didn’t catch on to the drugs until the next day. As I have pointed out, people drink at this time of year.

11 – Sociology (see above)

11.02 – Work walk wulk. Pretty sure it was meant to be the word walk repeated three times. I am quite drunk by this stage. Quite very very.

11.06 – Bush golf. No, not quite a new sport, or anything sexy either, we just needed to cross the golf course and I believe I fell in some bushes too. I knew the way to go, but had we not been following some other people there is a strong chance we would still be on that golf course.

11.12 – Run. I left my friends when we reached the far side of the golf course. I had decided this was the right time to go and find my other friend. I ran for quite a while, and got many a comment from people around, it was a weird thing to see I guess.

11.14 – Stop. Not right there. Spin guide. I had not arrived yet, but apparently was a little lost so I didn’t need to continue running. Either that or I did keep running because…

11.16 – mdstmgjoistpo,aipvospkg, – OK, so it doesn’t say that, but the letters are all smushed on top and into each other, so it may have been close. I am pretty sure this is why a person who can’t write and is drunk should not try and write while running. Go figure?

11.15 – tish cant. Don’t know what it means, don’t know how I went back in time. But, that is it.

11.16 – Chartwell. I believe this is the name of the road near where I was going. That only took me 15 minutes running to go a distance of what is actually around about 1km.

11.22 – I am at Lee’s house now. It is a weird place to be. Not in any bad way, I was just shocked to show up and find there was basically just her and a handful of ten year old kids. Is this really my life? Did I just run across town to hang out with young children? In the time it takes me to throw back a KGB (quite literally seconds) the place had cleared out and it was just the two of us. A little perplexed I jump at the opportunity to go to the surf club. I grab another drink first and finish it before leaving the section.

11.41 – I can’t make out the full comment but I believe the word ‘root’ and ’sister’ are key. I think it is probably safer if I just leave that one alone and point out that as we walked to the surf club not only did Lee go out of her way to avoid walking past police officers (??) she also randomly swore at some douchbag who either looked at her, or said something near her. I thought it was freaking awesome.

11.44 – Public toilet. Makes sense? Surf club.

11.48 – Toilet over. Surf club (I think we have gathered that now). Why wet shoes??
What just happened there? I was waiting outside public toilets for Lee, I don’t think much more is needed. Though as I was doing so Dunc rang me, told me to wave my hands around (I did, made sense right?) and hey presto Tina ran out from somewhere and hugged me. I have been trying to recreate this event over and over since, but apparently it is not some magical cue.

11.53 – I realise, and decide to note down that there are only 7 minutes left for Tina to slam someone.

12.05 – After the countdown me and Duncan realise they did not play Auld Lang Syne but instead jumped right in to some Aerosmith. This does not please us one bit, so we sing it ourselves.
[Note: The use of the word sing in the previous sentence in no way should be taken to mean that we had rhythm, could stay in tune, or in fact knew the words]

Two other things happened at this time – Tina and Rach said something to us, and then sprinted off (we didn’t understand why, but also didn’t do anything about it); and Duncan dropped his ring. Thinking quickly Duncan told this to me and I, thinking equally as quick, dived to the ground. Pushing peoples legs out of the way (big crowd, all starting to move places) yelling something about a contact lens. I did find the ring, and I did enjoy the experience. Sweet times.

12.29 – As we are walking home a girl and her mum wished us a happy new year from the front of their property. Needing no more invitation we walked over and had a chat. I quickly noticed they were not going to be supplying alcohol, and it was highly unlikely any kind of sexual activity would spur from the conversation either so I basically zoned out – though at the same time I think I was active in the conversation (huh?) I know they did ask about the note pad and I carefully retold my story from earlier.
Speaking about earlier we were almost back at that house…

12.35 – We arrive back at Nana Jaynes place. There is no one home. We (it is just Dunc, Kieran and myself) look at the pile of hair on the ground and laugh, then two girls (women) come out and ask us what’s going on. We tell them the story about our friend getting his head shaved, though we had invented a mystery 9 year old boy who did it. They quickly grow tired of our conversations (they think we a liars). As we leave I say something about Nana Jayne and they both snap to alertness. I start telling them all I know about her (basically nothing at all really, not even a terrible description) and that we had a great conversation. To prove my point I show them my note pad. We still leave right away, but maybe on slightly better terms?

12.37 – Kieran is a gay. I don’t know what spurred this on, which is quite unfortunate, it seems funny. It is especially good because of the comment earlier where I cannot seem to stop praising Kieran. I think I may be a little bi-polar. Or drunk. [Hmmm, I may have just insulted all bi-polar people, or all drunk people. Did I just assume that a mental illness is actually just people being drunk? I don’t know what’s going on.

12.42 – Fuck you all, time for champers. Earlier I had put a bottle of cheap sparkling white wine (so, kind of champers) in the fridge, I figure around 1am is a good time to open so I do. This of course is all back at our place. Tina and Rach had beaten us back, and cooked up some bacon and sausages’, Will had appeared just as we arrived and Dunc was not keen to drink. Looks like this is just me and [the freshly outed] K-Fresh.

12.53 – Hot meat bread. I take it I had a sausage too. I also take it me and Kieran are gonna play some tetris. Yeah, weird a little.

12.55 – I recall another time of sitting around drunk in the wee hours of the morning. We had watched some of the show Dr. 90210 and learned of a surgical technique – LVR, laser vaginal rejuvenation. It is suggested this could help Tinas born-again-ness? What? Huh?

1am – Champers some more, this bottle seems to be getting the better of us. I throw the top away, that seems to solve most alcoholic problems. Tina is currently on my phone to her parents, Dunc yells from the other side of the yard “Swallow you bitch”. Thanks for the input Duncan.

The next page is a simple stick figure drawing with the text ‘Rach – the portrait’ underneath. I am also an artist it seems.

1.11 – Tetris.
1.16 – Level 1
1.32 – Tetris? No, Tessie!!
Seems I was enjoying myself a lot then too. Tessie is a reference to a Dropkick Murphys song, which is a reference to baseball.

1.40 – Sleep? No, champers first. At least I have my priorities right, but sleep would be a fun thing. Kieran notes that he is going to throw up. I take the bottle away from him but he protests. I give it back and he continues to drink. This is the time of night real men are born.

1.52 – Black velvet band (another Droppers song) is playing and the champers is done. What an effort. Great night though, so it’s all worthwhile.

1.54 – Bed time.

And there ya go, one of the most memorable New Years I have had, of course, this is helping with all the memories, well, and all the sweet photos that were taken.

I woke up later (about 8ish?) not feeling that bad, I proceeded to breathalyse myself, apparently I am in absolutely no shape to drive. The plus side is leaving the section seemed quite an unlikely thing, and as I sit here now writing this, hours after I began, I can safely say the closest thing I did to leave the section today was sitting in a paddling pool, so, not very close at all.