Archive for the 'Unofficial Event' Category

As my write up of the first concert was so average, and because the second concert was identical I decided I would do a much better write up of this one, just to be nice (or maybe mean) to all those who missed out.

I will start by saying the second concert was even better than the first, and that I am beyond impressed with the Foo Fighters right now. I can’t wait for another tour to see how, and if, they can top this one. It was amazing.

Tuesday started off with me trying to write an essay. As boredom and excitement took over, so did the urge to shot people and stuff like that; so I started watching NK play GTA:IV.

Hours passed and before I knew it Beer Tuesday had come and gone and we were on the way to the concert.

The two opening acts were Kaki King, and The Sky Bombers.
Only caught a small bit of Kaki, but in what we saw we could tell she was an amazing guitar player, we were then pretty gutted that we had missed most of her set (both nights).
The Sky Bombers on the other hand were full of energy, but, it didn’t seem a lot else. Sure, this is probably harsh as I am comparing them to the Foo Fighters, but I didn’t really rate them at all. The second night was a little better, as I had heard all their songs by now and got caught in the tunes a little bit more. I must say however, when you introduce a song saying “This song is about my mum, it’s called She’s always complaining” you maybe should reconsider things.
Who knows?

The break between the Bombers and the Foos was pretty short, so before we knew it (well, the rest of the crowd, we had a pretty good idea based on the previous night) Chris, Nate, Taylor and Dave were out on stage. As per the previous night for the first two songs they were also joined by Drew Hester, Jessy Greene, Pat Smear and Rami Jaffee (who all made many other appearances during the show).
The set list for the two nights was the same, with the only changes coming in the encore, where in the second night they added three additional songs (DOA, No Way Back, and Generator).

From the moment they hit the stage the crowd went mental. A constant cheer as the band stood around and Dave ran out the runway and out on the sides of the stage, saluting the crowd and getting everyone pumped up.

They then cut right into Let it Die, which was followed without a break by The Pretender, they then continued to play right into Times Like These and then Breakout. A powerful intro indeed. They crowd, as New Zealand does for the Foo Fighters was going nuts the whole time. Cheering loudly, singing proudly (yeah, I don’t think that actually works either, it’s OK thought).

After the first 4 songs the band stopped for a moment for Dave to have a few words. Talk about how good the last night was, and how much better this one would be. He came out with the idea that modern bands with their make-up and crying and junk, play for an hour and fifteen minutes, and that it is pathetic. As such he announced they would play at least two hours, but as the cheer died down from that he suggested that they will just play until the audience tells them to leave. This idea was met with an even bigger cheer.

They then jumped into another series of songs (I forget exact order here) which included Cheer Up, Boys (Your Make-up Is Running); Learn to Fly; Staked Actors; and This is a Call.
Two of these songs had extended interludes.

During This is a Call Dave went on a rampage, running too all corners of the stage, melting some faces with his mad guitar skills (I couldn’t help myself there, sorry). While Staked Actors began with a guitar duel (bad choice of word) between Dave and Chris, and paused in the middle for an extended drum solo. It seemed during this solo that the rest of the band were taking a little break, as they all left the stage and weren’t to be seen.

The next portion of the set was where things really got awesome (well, it was equally as awesome as the rest of it, but the whole show was at such a new level of awesomeness it was hard to decide where on the awesome scale any one song or segment belonged).
Can everyone say acoustic?

Yes, Dave, followed shortly by the rest of the band walked to the end of the central runway where they were met with a second circular stage that had descended from the ceiling. The stage was preset with drums, pianos, percussion segment and microphones. It was essentially a small take on the Skin and Bones set.
Amazing was about to happen.

Starting with Skin and Bones the pace of the whole concert changed (moderately). They then played (in some order) My Hero; Cold Day in the Sun; But, Honestly; and Marigold. The big band also got introduced which tonight allowed for a sweet violin romp with Jessy, and, of course, the obligatory triangle solo with Drew Hester (who later we are sure was hitting on Jessy)

There was of course more chatting from Dave here, including a portion where he told us to “shut the fuck up”, and questioned how they were meant to play music with the crowd that loud. There was also banter back and forth with Taylor before Cold Day in the Sun.

The previous night this banter had included a joke which wasn’t really heard, but mentioned something about all the convicts from England actually coming to New Zealand (Taylor), and a rebuttal saying that actually, it was all the hot women, (Dave) as there was a big group right in the front. Tonight; however, Dave warned that no jokes should be told, and teased the crowd with not knowing what they were talking about.
Once these songs were done the band left once again and Dave had another talk with the audience. This time Dave spoke about the Beaconsfield Miners, and how much that story had changed his view on their music. He also explained that it was because of a drunken promise to one of the miners that the song actually made the album.
Clearly this song was then played. Dave re-introduced Kaki King, who he rates as the greatest guitar player ever; and quite a looker (potentially).

After this Dave went right into Everlong, which as expected drew amazing roars from the crowd. Dave played along until the end of the song when he raced back to the main stage, and right up beside Taylor on the drums. However, as Dave tried to get back on the stage his foot was caught in a wire and he fell straight down on his face.
(From where I was it looked like he broke his ankle at first as his shoe came off slightly, allowing for a weird bend)
Dave recovered like a pro and after throwing his guitar up over his shoulder (neck snapped off when it hit the ground) carried on singing. The pro roadies rushed out and got him a new guitar without missing a beat and the song finished as well as it ever has. Dave then quipped that it was perfect that it (the fall) happened now at the end of the tour (end of this leg, they play again at the end of this month and Germany).

They then rushed into Monkey Wrench, which as expected also went off. Then to finish the main part of the set they played All my Life, which included the backing screens turning red, recreating the awesomeness of the video (and the infamous (??) photo of their silhouettes’ on a red back ground where it looks like one guy doesn’t have a head).

The crowd roar was insatiable with the band off the stage, and as per the previous night (and most concerts on this tour I am told) the video screens soon came back on with Dave showing the set list and holding up a finger stating one more song. The crowd went off again. Taylor then came on screen and also indicated one more song, but after holding a hand to his ear changed this to two more songs. Dave concurred, but then Taylor came back and like he wanted it kept a secret held up three fingers. Good times to come.

The band came back on stage and after Dave explained he often likes opening an encore with a softer song they played Big Me with Jessy coming back in to help with the vocals. This was followed with Long Road to Ruin, which also went off.
Actually, Long Road to Ruin was quite unique this night, as it was Chris’ birthday.

Halfway through the song a random guy ran out onto stage and was just standing around behind Dave. This caused the band to stop and Dave explain to the guy that he can’t just run up there while they are playing. Unless…
Yeah, he was a male stripper and proceeded to get some clothes off and dance around for Chris. Highly amusing. We then sang happy Birthday and Dave asked the crowd what they wanted next.

A small section at the front was chanting for DOA, and Dave obliged by playing it. They then went straight into No Way Back, which had a huge amount of audience singing involved. Finally they added Generator for good measure.

Those of you counting could note that is 5 songs in the 3 song encore; and as all good things must come to an end Dave thanked the crowd once more, created a cheer for the roadies, and then finished everything up with Best of You.

So, we left and on our walk home realised that as good as the first night was, they topped it in the second. More songs will do that I guess. It was also interesting to note that all the little speeches and anecdotes changed between the two shows, even ones that were essentially the same (Beaconsfield miners story) – then again, this shouldn’t have come as a surprise, they are pros after all.

All up this has been the greatest 5 day period of my life, topped off by two of the best concerts I may ever see. The random couple who I spoke to this morning (because I had a Foos shirt on) summed it up nicely when they said “Nothing else is ever going to be the same. How are we going to get a concert better than that? I might have to give up on going to them if they are all going to be huge disappointments when compared to the Foo Fighters.”

(It should be noted I wrote all of this, while I have an essay due in two days that I have yet to start or even really have a good look at – Foo Fighters > Passing University)

- GG

So this day had high expectations coming in. The Foo Fighters are one of my favourite bands, and arguably one of the greatest bands of all time (or at least our generation). They also put on awesome live shows (as I have seen them several times already), so I was expecting an great night.

The day started pretty early, woken up at 6.30 by SA having a show. I then proceeded to get up once SDC and NK had gone to work, and sat around watching some cartoons while surfing the net. Before I knew it, 11.30 had come around and I hopped the bus to town to meet up with SDC for lunch. Little did I know my cousin was meeting us there as well with his army buddies.

So I arrive and the boys had just finished ordering their meals and had a round of beers on the table, I quickly got my own beer and ordered a dozen buffalo wings (Degree is an awesome place, and these wings are amazing – I had been crazing them since I left Auckland). So drinking took place, and then SDC arrived and got his own beer and ordered food. Drinking and eating occurred and SDC headed back to work (three beers down at lunch – nice). I, being a student who had decided to take several days off, hung around and continued to drink many more pints with the army boys.

This was a highly positive idea on my behalf, as these army guys were good freaking quality. I have never had so many laughs about weird conversations and events at lunchtime before. Just for a taster, one of the guys explained to us that when he was younger (at primary school) he beat off to Officer Callahan from Police Academy. Police Academy the Animated show that is. The reason that is worth noting is because this guy was quite loud – and it was 1pm in a public place. Yeah, it was heading to be that kind of day…

Continued drinking till about 5, then came back home and before long we were down at the concert. Originally I had been a little disappointed because I was seated, but once I found my seats (stage right, not to far back in either direction) I realised that the view was awesome, and that I was not going to be disappointed.

The concert started with Let it Die, followed up by The Pretender, and then still without saying a word they went into Times Like These and Breakout. After that point I kind of forget the order the songs were played, but the set list looked something like this

· Best Of You

· Cold Day In The Sun

· The Pretender

· Let It Die

· Long Road To Ruin

· Cheer Up, Boys (Your Make-Up Is Running)

· But, Honestly

· Times like these

· Breakout

· Staked actors

· Monkey wrench

· Everlong

· Breakout

· Big Me

· All my life

· Ballard for the Beaconfield Miners

· Marigold

· This is a call

· Learn to fly

· My hero

· Long road to ruin

· Skin and Bones

Clearly an awesome set.

But not only was it sweet music, there was a good portion in the middle where a second stage came down from the roof and they played a bunch of acoustic songs, similar to Skin and Bone (the DvD). This was extra awesome because it also allowed for Dave to do a whole bunch of talking, which is always entertaining.

So, they played for a few hours, and it was the best few hours of my short little life. Afterwards I just could not stop smiling.

I am very excited about seeing them again tonight.

The only bad thing I have to say is about Vector. As everyone has said time and time again, the sound in Vector is not really great. It was noticeable again last night. Not very bad, but there were bits of the show I felt that Vector was letting them down.

Oh well, I was seeing the Foos twice in two days, I am probably not going to complain.

- GG

Sunday started like oh so many do: not wanting to wake up.

Eventually I motivated myself to leave my room, and then I proceeded with the next common Auckland Sunday activity: sitting around with BT guys, playing on the Internet, and talking about junk.

I can’t completely recall what went on during Sunday.  We watched a few movies on the media centre: Gone Baby Gone and The Bank Job, and also watched a new episode of the office.  I don’t really know what else happened but we passed the time till 7 when we started watching actual TV. We also ordered pizza at some point.  Who knows of these days.  As the evening drew on and we realised there was nothing on TV everyone went to sleep.  I on the other hand had no work the next day so I stayed up watching Cobra on TV (until Sky died due to the weather), and Jumper on my laptop.

Bed happened, but sleep didn’t.  I was ever so excited about Monday – Foo Fighters day.

- GG

Ah Saturday.  This was a special day, I don’t often have such big hangovers after Friday night’s these days.  I am not complaining at all, as Friday was excellent, but it did make Saturday not so nice.

I got up at about 9, and knowing what was ahead of me for the day I quickly drank a cruiser.  Yes, that’s right, 9am and I was drinking a vodka cruiser while surfing the internet from bed.  I have truly reached a high point in my life.

White Warrior sent me a text message not long after advising that I should get up as he was picking me up shortly.  After struggling out of bed I had a shower and then proceeded to pack my bag.  WW showed up and as we drove away informed me that there was going to be some firewood to be picked up.  As I was hungover (though on my way back to getting drunk), I did not think about this – I was going to be carrying firewood around.

After a short stop in Matangi we were on our way to Parongia (yeah, all over the show way to get to Auckland).  I decided this was a good point of the day to start drinking properly, so cracked into the Raddlers I had left from last night.

After the firewood was all loaded we were on the road again – this time actually heading to Auckland.  I continued to drink, more combatively than ever.  I was still feeling a little uneasy from Friday, the lack of sleep and large amount of alcohol were apparently catching up with me.

The drive was uneventful, except for the fact anywhere we stopped I noticed people staring at me.  I couldn’t figure it out at the time.  I guessed it was because I was clearly drinking and it was still before midday.  Later I realised it was probably because I was wearing a bright pink, ah, lightish red shirt.  Huntly was interesting…

We arrived in Auckland, unloaded the firewood (I more just sat around drinking), and then headed to the guys flat to proceed with the party.  Upon arrival we discovered there was actually a Westie Theme to the night, this made my lightish red shirt even less appropriate.  Oh well, I was drunk, I didn’t care.

So, everyone continued drinking heavily, and later on the fun and games started.  I guess the best way to put this is the truth.  We killed a baby [doll].  One of the guests had brought along their baby [doll] and at some point it was decided people should try and hurt it as much as possible.  One of the first things was stealing the baby and throwing it in the microwave.  Soon after this a knife had been brought out and it was placed in the baby’s face.  We then thought the baby should be cremated, so put it in the oven.

Realising the danger of fire that existed we just cut the baby’s head off and stuck it on top of a pepper grinder – well, obviously right?

Sure, it is probably pretty sick, but it was highly amusing at the time.  Excellent.

Eventually people started to leave and the party wound down.  All up it was an awesome evening, and it will also be very sad to see Blue Streak leave (terrible sentence.  Then again, a lot of this has been).

- GG

Friday was “a day just like any other day, no work, and no play.  I knew that paradise was some other place and I’ll get there, another way…”

OK, so that was just a stupid reason to put some Bad Religion lyrics in the blog.  Get over it.

Anyway, Friday was my Mums birthday, so, after doing the lovely son things in the morning I took off to Uni as I had to go to work.  I stayed there for a few hours then went and did a very important tax presentation.  This went really well, so to celebrate, I went back to work.  A few hours later the wine was flowing at work, and all was well in the world.  I hung around for a few drinks before remembering I had a real party to get to that night, so could do much more drinking there.

I got home and opened a beer.  The next steps involved showering and listening to music while I waited for 830 to come so I could go and get drunk.  Like clockwork (hahahahahahha!!!!) 830 rolled around and as did I do Duncans. 

I really can’t talk up drinking with my hockey friends enough.  Sure there are times I pass it up because of other engagements, but when I do drink with them it is always really good times.  This night was no exception.

I will admit that I don’t recall a lot of the happenings.  This was proven more when I saw some photos of the night that I had no recollection of at all.  I am quite the photo slut though, I can’t be expected to remember every shot I was in.

After several many drinks there I somehow got a ride to town, where we all quickly proceeded to Bar 101, the best new bar in Hamilton.

Things go blank again here.  I do however remember carrying Geoff into the bar as he was far to drunk to be let in alone.  I also know I did buy some drinks there – though I have not seen a charge for these yet, so, I don’t know what happened there.

A few hours and a kebab later I was back at home.  Much worse for wear, but in a very happy state.

I do so love alcohol.

The best bit was that I knew this was just the start of an epic weekend.

- Green Griffin

I feel compelled to vent my anger after an unpleasant experience at Drury McDonald’s yesterday has brought me to believe that the human race has reached the pinnacle of stupidity.

I can’t help but lay some blame towards the North embankment at Mt Smart. While attending the Warriors game I decided that the crowd didn’t appear to be the quickest of cats. I consider myself a seasoned veteran at rugby union matches but this was my first league appearance. I’m sure these guys are good at what they do, but compared to the highly evolved skills of the mighty Waikato rugby team they appeared pale in comparison. Pick up the ball and hope you can smash through the opposition………if you do, something exciting might happen. Little more in my eyes. I’m also puzzled as to where the ref draws the line on the call of a head high tackle.

Anyway back to Drury……….Box and I entered McDonald’s for the 3rd time in 30 hours (we don’t make a habit of this I assure you) to find a young rugby league players have destroyed the place! I mean sure it’s likely to get a bit a bit messy towards the end of a shift but these little bastards had thrown shit everywhere, smashed sugar bowls and were continuing to smash their happymeal toys in the carpark with a stick. There must have been at least 20 of them, just causing havoc. Where were the parents? Having a session on the bus no doubt. And whats up with fastcrew dipshits?

So let me fill you in on a few of our weekend antics. Just the two of us headed up to Auckland. NK, SDC, Box, myself and associates attended the races at Ellerslie. Beverages flowed and there was betting to be done. No one had any luck worth noting although 1 or 2 trifectas were narrowly missed out on.

After the races we headed to Albany for the shield challenge (if you could call it that). North Harbour played fantastically and and dominated Waikato for most of the game, easily retaining the shield…………………….no……..wait………the opposite of that. I would have been embarrassed to be a Harbour supporter at the game. There didn’t actually seem to be many there come to think of it.

Victorious, we headed back to the boy’s then into town. Starting at “The Great Northern Steamship” with a few mojitos and shooters we were well in the mood. After midnight you can’t take your drink outside so as I neared the door, drink in hand, the bouncer stopped me and what I thought he said was “You can’t take your drink outside, you need to drink my pee”………………..”what does your pee taste like?” I asked him. He stared at me with a disgusted look on his face. Apparently he had said “You cant take your drink outside, put it over there please” Innocent mistake, I assure you.

Our lack of luck continued at the casino so we headed back to hq via Mc D’s picking up some BBq bacon cheeseburgers. I was just about to enjoy my first bite when Scarlet Avenger snatched the bacon out of mine and gobbled it up. He may as well have eaten my soul……. thanks to Box for then sharing his bacon before it was snatched.

Silver Sovereign out

So, Saturday, going by the calendar the day did indeed exists. Unfortunately I don’t completely remember the events without an aid. Luckily I had thought ahead and tried to keep a running diary of the day. This idea was much in the same way Bill Simmons keeps running diaries of some sports events, or in a similar fashion to some Tucker Max stories.

The day for me started like many other weekends. I got up, showered, and started playing around on the Internet. Due to my recent discovery of StumbleUpon I had plenty of things to look at.
Though because I am a Beer Tuesday member there was also the good chance I just looked at porn.
Who really knows?

11.55am: I get myself a pie, a Tui and continue stumbling as Stinkfist strikes up on the stereo – Good tone to set for the day.

12.01: I stumble to a page with a video of how to make Thermite.
My better judgement advises me not to watch, just on the off chance I happen upon the ingredients later in the night.

12.03: I watch the video – sweet.

12.34: Getting picked up in 5. A few beers down – looks like I shall be setting the level of drunk for the start of the day.

12.42: On the way to Silver Sovereign’s place. Apparently Box only just arrived home from his night before – he could give me a run for drunken?

12.58: A quote from Box went something along the lines of “my undies are currently covered in shit” – I forget what we were talking about that made him say this. The chances are it was shit.
There was also a rehashing of a quote from Mrs Silver Sovereign earlier in the day – apparently SS’s breath smells like babies.
Box and I smell his mouth – it does indeed smell like babies – weird.
White Warrior doesn’t smell it. Eh, his loss.

We hit the road, I am in the car with WW. Box, SS and Mrs SS are in Bandit.

1.04: Bye bye Hamilton

1.20: We are at Gordonton. There is a tractor in the middle of the road – oh good.
“Done, done, on to the next one” – convenient timing to start a fresh beer.

1.22: WW and I discuss the French open (or some tennis at least). Neither of us really liked the William sisters.
WW – “Yeah, there were a little male looking”
GG – “… black”
(Note: This was not being racist – and, if you cant take a joke, fuck you.)

1.27: The topic of conversation went to Pirates of the Caribbean, then to Keira Knightley and how hot she is. Then to how her and Lindsay Lohan were going to be doing a movie with lesbian stuff in it (turns out Sienna Miller is actually doing Lohans role now – which isn’t bad). We then thought about how Paris and Lohan keep breaking the law and stuff – they could both end up in prison. Together. Now lesbian prison porn of those two would probably get a lot of attention

We go silent for a while in awe of our idea.
Eh.

1.34: We reach Huntly. We are instantly struck with a sight that lets us know we have reached Huntly. No, not the power station, it was a broken down “TK Tours” (I don’t know either) bus that was all smashed up at the front. Sucks to be them.
Oh, and back to the Huntly Power Station. You know, they don’t need those chimneys any longer.
It’s because they are long enough already!!!!

Moving on…

1.59: We reach, and stop at, Mercer. My face is numb. People in the other car have only just started drinking. I am still winning.

2.03: I am currently in a handicapped baby toilet. I am pissing while writing this.
(I am kind of confused about the above message reading back over it. I remember this happening; I was standing there, holding a notebook, pissing away while writing – that all makes sense. I just couldn’t figure out a handicapped baby toilet. I blame Mercer, that place is weird)

2.14: I got garlic naan and a Chicken McCheese combo – awesome.

2.16: I throw my coke on the ground – I figure its better this way.

2.26: A phone call? It’s my work asking me to come in for a few hours. Apparently that is not going to happen.

3.02: We arrive at the Auckland lands flat.

3.10: While putting things in the fridge a bottle of wine shoots into my face. I am wet. The ground is wet. This cuts into drinking time, but I do clean it up the best I can.

Now a lot of this becomes quotes. We are sitting around in the guys lounge room at this stage.

3.27: SS – “I anit gonna pay nothing to see no dick” (right…)
A photo comes up of a smooth stomach
SS – “That could be my smooth belly, and naked dick”

4.28: NK – “What does the ‘s’ in smaps mean?”
SS – “Sex”
PB – “Suck off”
GG – “Internet”

4.37: We were talking about the various strip clubs in Auckland
SDC – “There is that Hungarian stripper at Showgirls, with the smashed in cunt. […] Looks like someone took to it with a sledgehammer”

4.55: GG – “The crave club (New Plymouth strip joint) was awesome. They come and take your bourbon when you are talking and then you have to drink it from their snatch”

5.05: Talking about NK’s trip overseas
SS – “Did your anal virginity get stolen?”
NK – “Nah, not stolen, I left it out as bait.”

5.35: Candyman – “You cant just rely on fucking condoms” (I choose to not put this in context)

5.47: A story from SS. He shot a 5 roper into the shower wall. The rest of it dribbled into the plughole.

6.14: SS is sitting on the couch, not really taking part in the lacking conversation. To pass the time he looks down his pants at his nuts. PB watches this and laughs. Good old Beer Tuesday.

6.21: SS apparently fingered NK ass (I believe was he was getting up from a seat), he then put his fingers in his mouth.

6.36: NK – “*Cough*, wrong hole”
SDC – “That’s what she said!”
PB – “Without the cough. She just farted.”

6.44: Box, SDC, NK and myself are now in a taxi on the way to the game. A conversation starts about the Swiss being neutral. Apparently because they have mandatory military service, and everyone gets to keep their gun afterwards they are very well armed as a population. This is why Germany left them alone in the war. The end of the conversation went like this.
NK (I think) – “Swiss has lots of guns”
SDC – “So does Harlem”
PB – “Germany had lots of guns too!”
GG – “But not many Jews”

6.47: I was looking out the window and saw a young kid walking along the street
GG – “Look how young that kid is!!” (while pointing)
The rest of the taxi just sort of sat silently
GG (while looking at watch) – “Oh, its 6.47. Never mind”

6.56: That taxi is playing terrible music.
GG – “It is like being in a bar in Hamilton”
A group of young girls walk passed the taxi
NK – “It sure is”

6.59: A group of people walked passed the taxi. I think they were French supporters.
SDC – “Lets beat up those guys… and the girls”

7.40: One of us about a fan “I think he is French”
Someone else “I think he is a stupid cunt”
(an old lady near by was less than pleased)

7.47: NK (pointing out the opposite stand to ours – “Look the crowd is completely dressed in black”
GG – “Yes. But due to pricing, there are actually no black people”
(Note: See what I said last time.)

A guy French guy got tackled just in front of us
GG (taking to my feet) – “Stomp him! Like he is a puppy!”

7.59: A French fan near us was getting a little uppity.
GG (loudly) – “Are French people covered by our laws? Or can we just stab them in the face with no consequence?”
(All Blacks fans near by laughed. I had supporters)

8.04: Why are there no national cheerleaders? No, really?

8.10: GG – “I want to eat a Kiwi!”
People around me gave me a bad look for this, so I needed to go for further explanation.
GG – “They eat Kangaroos and stuff like that”
PB – “Yeah, but that’s Australians”
GG – “I was talking about the French. They eat everything!”

8.16: Someone (about something?) – “The bottom goes a lot faster”
GG – “Bow Chicka Bow Wow”

8.20: Downward Pressure! (There was some on the try. You didn’t need the video ref)

8.22: There is a French kid to our right (who was wearing a French jersey but by the end of the game was waving a NZ flag, does that make you want to punch him?) and some NZ kids to our left.
GG – “We should pay the NZ kids to beat up the French kid. How much does it cost to hire a kid?”
NK – “I’m not sure. Ask Nike”

8.40: Some French guy pushed Fiji (Sitiveni Sivivatu).
GG – “Don’t push Fiji! He will beat your wife so hard!”
(This too drew laughs from my fans. Excellent)

8.50: SDC returns from the toilet just as a French guy is sent off.
GG – “I’m pretty sure he just sent off for touching someone up”
SDC – “Same thing happened to me in the toilet. Oh, and the guy behind me complemented me for pissing for so long”

9.01: GG – “At this point, the game is almost cutting into stripper time”

NK – “Why is that guy wearing a suit jacket over a hoddie?”

9.12: GG – “In heaven, I feel everyone will be like Mo-Fringe”

9.20: During a discussion about American stadiums
NK – “What’s the biggest stadium in NZ?”
PB – “I am”
GG (Touching NK) – “This one here”

From here I don’t really see what’s happening, we got back to the boys, apparently Blue Streak put my phone on his nuts, then we go to the waterfront around 12.

At 1.37 a few of us (PB, Scarlet Avenger, and myself included) are standing around outside. A girl walks passed and says to her friend “Is this the waterfront?” I then announce, “Yes. It is. The waterfront is the wet bit” I thought I was funny.

We also see a guy standing behind a girl with his arms around her. She seems less than happy and sort of trying to get away. I drew a little picture of the situation with a note saying police should stop that shit. We are good citizens at Beer Tuesday.

Once we arrived home we found the house above the boys was playing bad music loudly still (this continued to 11.30 the next day) so SA and I sat down and watched the girls next door, and then Dr 90210 where we learned of an amazing thing – LVR – Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation.
Isn’t that awesome?

Drink at rugby games it good times.

GG

NK Edit: Video goodness 

I just wanted to expand on the Lana thing which was mentioned by Neon Knight in his event writeup, and will henceforth be refered to as Lanagate (wow, I could be part of the New Zealand media). Mainly because he only touched on what happened, and because Green Griffin requested more information. I thought I would tell the story, because comparatively I was sober.

Sober? I hear you question, well yeah. I got really fucked up the night before, and was not up to my best drinkingwise on Saturday.

On Friday night a bartender got me drunk, and not in the conventional sense where I pay for drinks and get hammered. Friday night began with Neon Knight and myself, meeting up with Purple Punga, and Cream Crusader and some other friends at Rise in Parnell. This is a frequent hangout for Neon Knight and I, so we know the bartender well, so after a few rounds, he was supplying us with free shots, and later when at the bar free other drinks too. It was awesome, he was telling us about a new bar he is opening downtown, so when that happens expect us to pimp the shit out of it to keep up this free drink relationship.

Anyway, I do not remember leaving the bar, but I do remember arriving home, and NK decided to order Pizza, despite the fact it was the middle of the night (the funny thing is Pizza didn’t arrive, and neither of us can actually remember if he ordered it). I was feeling a bit queasy, and thought I might throw up, so I got a blanket and decided to sit outside, I don’t know what happened but I passed out outside, and NK left me to it and went to bed. I must have got up and gone inside at some point in the night because I woke up in bed fully clothed at 7am. So I got up for a shit.

I vaguely remember the next bit, but it wasn’t until Scarlet Avenger reminded me later, he said he woke up at 7am, and heard me yelling at the top of my lungs “You’re a fucken door”, can’t remember why, but I think I was yelling at NK’s door.

When I properly awoke, I saw I had a voicemail from the previous night, I listened to it, and it was just Neon Knight saying “You’re a gay” (maybe forshadowing but this became a theme of the weekend, when I wasn’t drinking much the next night, I was called this many times), so I decided to call him, and heard him answer from the lounge, so I told him “You’re a gay”, naturally he responded “You’re a gay”, we repeated these words back and forth about 6 times each, until NK stopped and said “Wait, who is this?”, and then I hung up.

So I was not drinking furiously the following evening, nor could I stomach food at dinner, I was in full on every-sip-of-alcohol-makes-me-feel-like-throwing-up-all-over-the-place mode, so I was taking it easy.

So we went to this bar Cowboys, I have just heard today that they own the next door bar, and they are going to change the theme of that to Indians (feather not dot), while that may not be the most PC name, it is a cool idea.

As tends to be the case when you are in the presence of the pseudo celebrity you notice. Some more than others. I was standing next to Scarlet Avenger, with my back to Lana Cockroft, and he was staring over my shoulder, I wasn’t sure what he was staring at, and turned around a couple of times to find only her and a couple of friends behind me. Eventually she snapped, and yelled out “WHAT!”, we all turned around, to see her looking at SA and SA staring back at her, so she yelled “WHAT!” again, several times infact. SA still stared and didn’t say anything, so she said “don’t give me that look”, and SA kept staring, it was amusing.

So she thought she would get funny, and came over and tried to hassle us about the pink Cowboy hats we were all wearing, implying something along the lines that we were only wearing the hats because we were all out with a bunch of guys, and it is ok to wear a pink hat, if all of your friends are doing the same thing. Pink Box, never one to get side tracked by a completely illogical argument, pointed out that it was not the case and he was already wearing a pink shirt, therefore was not only wearing pink to because others were.

Lana, not one to let annoying things such as facts get in the way of her argument, and decided upon the interesting tact of arguing that Pink Box’s shirt was not pink. This would be the equivalent of taking the position, arguing bears do not shit in the woods.

Anyway Box showed great patience and tried to explain to her his shirt was pink, and therefore her argument lacked logic and reason. Lana kept interrupting him, however things were still reasonably civil. Eventually Blue streak cut into the conversation with something along the lines of “The shirt is Pink, so just FUCK OFF”, and received a stunned look from Lana, and shocked looks from the rest of us, with out missing a beat Box said “ignore him, he’s a cunt”, and then he received a look of disbelief from Lana.

She went on to describe SA as creepy (or some similar word), and BS as nasty, and also pointed at each of us and called us some kind of word.

Lana continued to argue her point, even getting Box to say “wait, let me finish” at one point after she cut him off again, and then eventually went about her business.
Overall she was nice about the whole thing, even after BS told he to fuck off, and seemed like a nice enough person, very hot as Neon Knight pointed out, but overall illogical, and stubborn.

Box resisted the urge to imply that she was on drugs, but let’s face it, she may have been.

Box spent the rest of the night saying he was going find her and punch her, which would have added to the story, and made it funny, but probably would have got Box in a bit of trouble, however she probably would have thanked him for it because she would have got in the paper, became somewhat relevant again, and probably ended up hosting a reality show by the end of the year. As it is she will continue to toil in obscurity, aside from her run in with Beer Tuesday.

Doc,

PS

Also that night PP, Box, and Silver Sovereign wanted to go and wank on a boat in the viaduct, then we lost PP, he may have actually done it, because he did go and jump onto a boat several times.

Cream Crusader came out for dinner and then went to another party. When he returned his arm was in a sling. This party had inflatable boxing, he fell funny and dislocated his shoulder….he was sober.

Neon Knight celebrated his 24th birthday on the 19th of May, below is a short recollection of events.

My sweet friggin Sony Bravia TV and stereo. I bought this for myself in April because I am a ‘tard. It arrived on my birthday, happy days! SDC and I broke out the man sweat trying to put the cabinet together. Awful heavy it was. SDC had a quick 70’s porno break at one point while I made room for stuff.

Dinner at Pompadore(?) was a bit of a hit and miss affair. I thoroughly enjoyed my meal, while others were not so impressed, such as Sovereign. He protested by eating his salad with his fingers. There are no octopusses (octopii?) in the fish tank.

At Cowboy in the viaduct. You get hats. They were out of boys ones.

We were busy conforming according to Lana Cockroft who shouted at Avenger for staring at her. She got a decent earful back from a couple of the boys. She was super hot, but an awfully up-tight so-and-so.

Our drunkest superstar, Avenger, was inadvertently trying to make a beer swimming pool.

Some skanks shaking what gosh gave ‘em on the bar.

Come late evening, and everyone is sozzled. Brent arrived in town (after needing to duck out to attend a party at his own house) and he has his arm in a sling. Two hours ago we were sober, and relatively civil at dinner. Now, we have a broken member… heheh… member… Turns out bouncy boxing is not as safe as one might think.

Our most humerous casualty is a beautiful effort from Scarlet Avenger. Upon finishing his evening, he caught a taxi to Foodtown, whereupon he bought 4 ginger beers, and about $20 – $30 worth of frozen goods with the intention of whipping up a feast when get got home. Alas, as fate would have it, he would manage to drop his ginger beer in the lobby thing of the supermarket as he left, effectively obliterating the lot of them. He looks around to make sure noone saw, then bolted. Back in a taxi now, he arrives home, only to realise that the taxi doesn’t accept credit, so they continue on to a cash machine. SA gets some cash, pays the man and farewells him, only to realise once it was too late that he’d left his frozen goods in the taxi. So he gets home, starts up the oven and goes to bed.

Upon closer inspection of the receipt the next day, it would seem he didn’t buy 4 ginger beers, but infact a dozen were purchased. Also I believe the majority of the errant frozen goods were vegetable based.

All in all an enjoyable night had by all (except Lana).

Some notable quotes from the evening include:

“I got three words… I cant remember what they were though… Oh yeah. I got two words and a house. The um… cat.” – Sweet Dr Chocolate

“I needa shit my ass off” – Neon Knight

“Aaarrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeebaaaa” – Scarlet Avenger

Edit: For more of an explanation on the Lana Cockroft thing (Lanagate) see here.

Thank you,
Neon Knight

You know how sometimes when you are looking forward, and you know it is going to be excellent, and then when it happens, it may be good, but it doesn’t quite live up to the lofty expectations which were set. Well it is a rare occasion when something is built up as much as the bus trip for Silver Sovereigns birthday, and then that something turns out not only to be an amazing time, but it far exceeds all your expectations. I think personally this was one of those occasions, and I am sure I am not alone in this.

As with all Beer Tuesday related events there will always be a large number of great stories to come out of the event. In this post I will cover as many of these as possible. Most of these I have been told second hand, but there is a need to get these down in writing now, and Green Griffin can fill in the gaps at some point when he is less busy. Green Griffin has already alluded to most of the stories from the evening, but I will elaborate on these as much as possible.

The day began at around 2pm when I arrived with Green Griffin at Sovereign and Box’s place. Neon Knight was already there, and we began pouring drinks into our faces. Over the next two hours intoxication greatly increased, as the party packed out. All Beer Tuesday members were in attendance with the exception of Yellow Dragon (who is in the UK), and Purple Punga (who had other commitments).

At around 4pm the Bus showed up, and it was time for the journey to begin. We were fortunate to have a bus driver who was described by most as a ‘good cunt’, we will call him Chris (which strangely enough was his real name), and he allowed us to drink on the bus as we traveled from bar to bar (which was actually up in the air leading up to the event). You can see all of our stops on this map.

The trip started quietly as everyone was still relatively sober, Black Hawk caught up to us about half way to out first stop in Parongia. Once we arrived drunkeness became the focus of everyones evening, Beer, Brubon, shots, and other alcoholic beverages. The mood on the bus was vastly improved (not that it was bad before, but everyone was significantly more happy, as darkness was falling by the time we began to head south to our second stop in Ota-fucks (Otrahonga for the rest of you).

At this point (remembering that we have just left the first pub. Pink Box and Green Griffin decided to remove their pants, down the back of the bus, and proceeded to hold a conversation about how it would be possible to wank on the bus (remembering of course that Box has already wanked on a plane and a train on Beer Tuesday USA). My understanding of the conversation was that they were both fairly serious about how it would work, and even got to the point when it was decided that it wouldn’t be gay, so long as they didn’t cum on each other in any way, and so long as they were not touching during the masturbation process. While I am not completely sold on their logic, I guess you can’t blame them for trying.

Less than half an hour later, and a drunken bus ride we arrived at the Thirsty Weta in Ota-fucks. By this stage the party was rolling, and we invaded the bar, spread out, and brought as much alcohol as they could supply, 40 drunken young people.

At the pub White Warrior was slapped by Box and Sov’s new flatmate. As a member of Beer Tuesday, of course it was deserved. She walked past him, and he punched her (I assumed it was playfully), she turned and asked if it was him, and he replied ‘no’ despite the fact there was very few other people who could have delivered the blow. So I would suggest that the slap was deserved.

Fairly soon we were on the road again, and this is the point where the memories of most of the people I have talked to from the bus become cloudy. The next stop (I believe, I could have the order of the next two stops mixed up) was a small country pub in Kihikihi. Now of all of the stops on the trip this was by far the most ‘country’ of all of the pubs. The walls of this pub were covered in pictures of rednecks carrying around dead animals, which they had just killed. There were typical country people in the pub, and a couple of them challenged a couple of our group to a game of pool. Now the ability displayed on this table was impaired by the fact that we had been drinking for 6 hours, and their ability was impaired that their parents are related.

At this point I was tipsy, and decided that it would be a good idea to make fun of the locals playing pool. I don’t think I said anything too bad, but clearly failed to take into account all of the dead animals on the wall, and that this only proves these guys are clearly armed. I don’t remember what I actually said, but was told at one point after they missed a straight shot (which I probably wouldn’t have made myself), I asked if the taught geometry in ‘this fucken hick town’.

This was also the stage of the trip where we had our first spewer. White Warriors girlfriend spent a substantial amount of time in the bathroom at this pub.

On the trip between Kihikihi, and our next stop in Te Awamutu he continued one of the on going themes of the trip. Someone would yell ‘Hey’, and then everyone would repeat ‘Hey’ over and over again. ‘Hey,Hey,Hey,Hey,Hey’, if you don’t know that is what a dog would say, if it could make words. This only happened about 3 or 4 times throughout the evening.

When we arrived we met, and had a chat with some local ‘bros’, they were probably armed. We then made our way to the local bar, and spread out, and made ourselves known to the locals.

While at this bar Neon Knight and myself were talking to a couple of local girls (the next day I found out they were lesbians, but that is neither here nor there), Neon Knight told them that I was a stand up comedian, and that I was touring the country. As you can imagine they didn’t believe it, and if you met someone claiming to be a stand-up comic, the first thing you would ask would be to hear a joke. Well I wouldn’t say that I choked, but I couldn’t think of a joke… so I pretty much just made fun of them…they didn’t think I was funny… but they can’t have minded too much (as you will soon find out).

Also at this stop for some reason Green Griffin decided to take a roll of toiled paper, don’t ask why, logic and reason are not the friends of the drunken mind.

The next thing I know, we are heading for our final stop before Hamilton, the Ohaupo Tavern. Walking down the isle of the bus I see two familiar faces. Somehow the girls from the Te Awamutu pub were on the bus and coming with us. I had no idea how or why they were on the bus, and I was completely confused because I wasn’t sure if they had been there the whole time, or how they ended up on our bus.

Meanwhile at the other end of the bus things were turning into an orgy. Box was touching boobs of most of the girls, and he got his dick out for them to touch. There was a lot a dry humping from various people, and the girls were trying to give Box a hickey. Scarlet Avenger was giving Silver Sovereign a lap dance, which by all accounts was too good to have not been practiced.

When we arrived at Ohaupo the pub was shut but people exited the bus. Green Griffin decided to make a piss trap. He pissed all over the footpath, for about 2 meters. and then called people over to talk to him so they would walk through his piss.

Candyman was back on the bus fighting injustice, and trying to throw the girls from TA off the bus. I am not sure why he decided that this had to happen, but it was my understanding that he was quite focused and determined to throw the girls off the bus, telling them they were not supposed to be there.

From here we headed into Hamilton to continue our night onwards. We made our way to our in town hangout Axes. A story that Green Griffin told me about which occurred in this bar cracked me up. He was standing there with Pink Box, and he brought a drink for each of them. Box was now faced with the problem of having a full drink and a drink which was nearly empty (since when was having two drinks at one point a problem). Green Griffin who was thinking on his feet, was trying to explain that Box should pour the remainder of one of his drinks into the other. So Green Griffin holds his empty hand out, like he is holding a glass, and proceeds to pour his full drink through his empty hand and onto the floor.

When we made it to town White Warrior did the responsible thing, and put his girlfriend in a taxi and sent her home. When sh got there, she decided to order a Pizza, and then passed out before eating any of it.

At some point someone brought another shot for the birthday boy, he took the shot and casually headed for the bathrooms, and threw up.

Later on Scarlet Avenger, Green Griffin, and Cream Crusader, were walking down the street. They bumped into a friend of Scarlet Avenger’s ex girlfriend. She was always a bitch and SA didn’t like her very much. She was cunty to them, and Cream Crusader was not paying attention. This was about the time the SA got sick of her been a bitch, and told her to ‘Fuck off”, Green Griffin called her a whore and the walked off. This is about the time that Cream Crusader turned around and saw GG and SA walking off, and was left in the awkward position of not knowing what happened, but had an angry girl standing looking at him.

Soon after (or before) CC and SA forced GG into a phone booth… I am not sure why.

Not long after this it was Green Griffins turn to throw up, with Scarlet Avenger watching. (Scarlet Avenger was another causality from the evening, but he didn’t feel the after effects until the next day.

Two of the girls from the bus, got into a fight (argument probably), because one of them wanted to go to a gay bar and the other didn’t. Which seems like a weird argument to have if you ask me.

While Green Griffin was walking home that night he was walking behind two, reasonably dodgy looking guys, who were walking behind an ugly looking girl. Green Griffin walked past the guys, and then walked past the girl. She asked if he minded walking with her home. GG replied ‘I would rather not’ and kept on walking. He shouldn’t worry though, because she is probably dead now.

So we all kept drinking, got split up, and heavily wasted, and all ended up drinking and most people kept on drinking and ended up at home around 3-4 in the morning over 12 hours after kicking things off. Needless to say people were not feeling great the next day, myself included.

One other story that I found out the next day is a great story about the boys from the Mount Chapter. When they arrived back in Hamilton they decided to drive home. At Beer Tuesday we do not encourage or condone drinking and driving. You know the feeling when you wake up after a big night on the booze, and you are not sure what happened or how you got home. Imagine that feeling, but over 100km from where you were drinking. Now imagine that there are 3 of you and none of you remembered how you got home, or who drove. Also you are not sure if the 4th member of the mount chapter came home with you or was still somewhere in Hamilton.

Now I am sure I have missed out a lot of the details or mixed up some of the facts from these stories. So hopefully Green Griffin will correct any mistakes, and add in any other stories.

SDC,